(Serious discussion)
Despite having the disorder for 11 years, what I am discovering about agoraphobia is that people who have it want others to understand and sympathize with their condition.
I understand it, but I don’t sympathize. I empathize.
I know exactly what kind of fear an agoraphobic has about going outside or being around people. It goes well beyond fear — the sheer, unexplained terror is enough to turn bowels of steel into water.
Sympathy would require pity for that person, and pity will prevent others from forcing the agoraphobic into the settings that will cure him or her.
Empathy would remove the feelings of guilt when the agoraphobic cried, wailed and screamed to get back inside, where it’s a safe place. Empathy would force a cure down his or her throat.
If the mind creates agoraphobia (and it does), only willpower and empathetic people can force the agoraphobic into settings that will desensitize the mind and show the agoraphobic there is nothing to fear from one’s self-imposed limitations. That’s how I started on the path to recovery. The choice to stay inside was removed, and it was the most horrifying protracted experience of my life.
Empathy and a firm, guiding hand is the best cure.
Sympathy prolongs and worsens the disorder, because it enables the agoraphobic to stay in mortal fear.
Even though the agoraphobia community knows this, sympathetic people are the ones running Internet support forums and real life support groups. Just like giving drugs to a drug addict will never compel the addict to cure him or herself, sympathy will never cure an agoraphobic. There is no incentive.
It’s called tough love because it’s difficult.
jaanderson2112 
Dear Jaanderson 2112, there isn’t too much in your statement that I can agree with. I have had agoraphobia for all my life. It started when I was twenty eight. I am a senior citizen now. I tried everything from talking myself out of this to hypnosis to self help books to self condemnation, to self reasoning. No I was never kicked to the curb by my husband or children.
I used pills, booze or anything else that could numb me enough to not care if I felt like I was dyeing or having a heart attack or a number of other things that I thought were happening to me. Did I care that my family thought I was nuts and should think my way out of this? Yes I cared! My answer: why would anyone in their right mind want to stay in the house avoid people and especially for woman never be able to shop ever.To imply that we are doing this to ourselves for whatever reason is nuts. No we want to be rid of this and be the people we used to know. Well that is what happened to me. One day I had my ah ha moment and said :”it is my eyes”. After researching the net I found a eye doctor in Michigan that recognized my problem. I went to Vision Specialists of Michigan. After a period of three years and a pair of prism glasses to correct a condition where one eye was higher than the other my symptoms disappeared. I have been on a lot of support sites and gave them my story. They don’t believe me. The answer seems too simple. But it is the truth. I have even written a book that is for sale on Amazon called My Silent Disability, by Yolanda Antonino that tells about my journey and how I was cured. If I put that news on a support site they think I want to sell books. My kindle edition is for sale at ,99 cents. I don’t think I am going to get rich at that price. I truly want to help people but they won’t let me, or won’t believe me.Most people with agoraphobia have this condition. I hope someone will read this and get help.Thank you for this opportunity to tell my story. Yolanda
You’re certainly entitled to your opinion, and I don’t dispute that a vision problem could cause agoraphobia in some people, but it is a medical fact that most people with agoraphobia cause their own disability and those around them help to enable it with their sympathy.
Years ago, I had a psychologist who asked me if I knew who had caused my agoraphobia. I had a rambling answer that it wasn’t a “who,” but rather a “what”: Stress, overwork, financial problems, etc. He told me, “You caused your agoraphobia.” I disagreed with his opinion for about a decade, but now that I’m cured I see he was right.
Anxiety and panic lead to avoidance. Most people have some degree of panic and anxiety, but when we start to avoid situations that cause such symptoms, we’re setting fire to gasoline. The situation snowballs out of control and within a short period of time we’re completely isolated by our own choosing because it’s easier to avoid our fears than facing them.
Avoidance is a crutch — we avoid that which causes anxiety and panic, and exacerbate the problem ten-fold.
I used to be mortally afraid of spiders too, and then I chose not to be afraid of them. They’re not pets to me (I still kill them), but to think I used to be afraid of something so small and fragile, albeit ugly, is laughable.
I appreciate your comments. And I have my own eBooks, but I write under pen names.
I think in your case you probably didn’t have the eye condition and so you were able to think and work your way out of it. But until the eyes are checked in other people how you got over yours will not be the case with them. Sorry to say the optometrists are told in school not to be concerned with vertical measurement of the eyes unless they are more than 4 or 5 diaopters off.. How many people that you know have had their eyes checked for this problem? The sad part is that not any optometrist is capable of dealing with this problem. There are two eye doctors in this country at this time that are knowledgeable enough to deal with this problem. One in in Michigan and one in California. This is not a simple matter of putting prisms in glasses. The prisms have to be added a little at a time and the patient has to adjust to each new addition.
I am very happy for you that you are over this crippling situation but you can’t paint a broad picture and include everyone in it according to your cure. But yes I can draw that broad picture and include most into mine. Have you ever heard the eye theory before?
We are put into this life to help others, to love God and our fellow man as ourselves. My desire is to reach that person so that he can be the person God has desired him to be.I think we are to quick to label everything mental. What the doctors don’t have answers for they say the patient is to blame.
I think it is time for the people diagnosed with mental illness to take their life back.. Thanks for giving me a place to talk. I will getting my own blog up soon. Yolanda
Until there are more documented cases of an eye disorder causing agoraphobia, I’m going to err on the side of conventional wisdom that our minds create the disorder and we must use our minds and intestinal fortitude to conquer the disorder.
I do not dispute that an eye condition can cause agoraphobia — the theory holds water, as our reality is that which we perceive, and sight is our largest sense (on a percentage basis).
But I do take issue with your “paint(ing) a broad picture” comment. The primary cause of agoraphobia is avoidance of anxiety-causing conditions, which leads to isolation and then escalates to panic. In thousands of case studies, that is a proven fact. Until eye disorders are proven as fact and accepted by those who treat the disorder (not necessarily conventional medicine), your belief remains a valid theory.
Peace be with you in your recovery.
Dear Jaanderson2112, I certainly didn’t want to paint a broad picture by saying that all agoraphobia is caused by your eyes. But as far as documentation there is plenty if you really want to see it. Thank God for the internet. Vision Specialists is one of them. There is enough evidence there to put any kind of skepticism aside. These testimonies are from the patients themselves. Go to the site and read them for yourself. I am glad you were able to think your way out of your agoraphobia but most of us can’t and we end up blaming ourselves and thinking we must be the bottom of the barrel because we can’t do the things other people can do. Our self esteem is non existent and I for one would like to see us get it back. Look up Vision Specialists of Michigan and become enlightened.
Vision Specialists in the News
Prism Power – The Detroit Jewish News
Vertical Heterophoria: New Discoveries Enable Treatment of Many Associated Disorders
Dr. David Brownstein March 2010 Newsletter
This Optometrist Gets Eyes in Line – Detroit Free Press
Seeing It Her Way – Signature 48009
Optometrist Curbs Dizziness with Prism Lenses – C & G Publications
Birmingham Optometrist Donates 2000 Pairs of Glasses to Lions Club – Detroit Free Press
A Miracle Cure for Headaches? – Images of Birmingham
Newly Recognized Syndrome Causes Dizziness and Headache – Internal Medicine News
Groundbreaking Treatment of Headaches & Dizziness – Mary Russo
Patient Stories By Symptom
Dizziness / Lightheadedness
Headaches
Neck Ache / Head Tilt
Anxiety
Motion Sickness / Nausea
Reading Difficulties
Double Vision
Unsteadiness with Walking / Balance Problems / Difficulty with Depth Perception
Head Injury
Selected Patient Stories
Migraines & dizziness after closed head injury
Closed Head Injury Patient Receives Help from Vision Specialists
Glasses Made Me Feel Normal Again After A Traumatic Brain Injury
I can read again!
After over 8 years of seeing Dr Debby
I Knew Something Was Wrong
I am AMAZED!
11 years of misery ended with one visit
I Feel I Have Balance for Once In My Life
They are just what I needed
Corrected vision helped patient recover from a stroke
No more double vision with readin
Thank you very much for the continued comments and information. I hope this dialogue helps others too.
It’s been suspected for many years that agoraphobia has a physical basis of one sort or another, and it’s interesting that research has uncovered the fact that many sufferers have a weak vestibular function which means they rely more on visual clues that other people. This can lead to them feeling disorientated when in crowded places where visual clues are too many, or in open spaces where visual clues are too few. All agoraphobic people know the feeling of dizziness and loss of balance that can occur in these places, so it’s hardly surprising they avoid them. I read more than 20 years ago how research had shown a link between agoraphobia and clumsiness, motion sickness and bad balance, and how special exercises were being developed to help address the problems. I didn’t follow up the research so don’t know whether success was achieved or not.
The vision theory that Yolanda talks about is very interesting, and seems perhaps to tie in with the other physical theories of this so-called phobia. It follows that if your eyes don’t work properly, if you have to struggle to see properly, that your balance will inevitably suffer, that you’ll feel dizzy and disorientated, especially in crowded places where people are moving all around you. In fact, the theory that I read about all those years ago mentioned how people with agoraphobia seem to be extra aware of movement that’s happening around them, their eyes seem to work in a different way from those of other people, and the result is dizziness. Again, this ties in very neatly with the weak vestibular function theory which makes mention of the agoraphobic person’s reliance on visual clues and how overwhelming this can be in crowded places.
One thing is certain – the vast majority of people with agoraphobia aren’t causing their own illness, they have a weakness somewhere in their physical makeup that makes being surrounded by movement very difficult for them. Their physical problem(s) cause the dizziness and subsequent feelings of disorientation and fear, and it’s easy to understand their reluctance to put themselves back into a situation where they know these feelings will occur again. A few people may not have a physical problem, or perhaps have a minor one that they can compensate for in other ways, but this won’t work for most sufferers which is most likely why agoraphobia is so difficult to cure. I’m pleased that research into the physical cause(a) of agoraphobia is going ahead, though obviously not at a fast enough speed for those who suffer from the illness. It’s good to know that finally this horrible condition is being taken seriously, rather than being dismissed as ‘all in the head’.
Dear Iseult, your are like a breath of fresh air. Finally someone who is willing to LISTEN AND LOOK! I am getting pretty discouraged out here crying in the wilderness while no one is listening. I am getting tired of trying to force people to be well.
Ok enough of my pity party I would also like to branch out into other problems like Traumatic Brain Injury. Yep to truly get over your symptoms you need to get prism glasses. Your eyes control a lot of disorders that you might not have ever thought of. The doctors don’t know either sorry to say. There are also football injuries and other sports injuries.
My main goal of course is the Agoraphobia and panic and anxiety disorders.
Thanks for giving me a platform.
Hugs, Yolanda
There is more on my blog: agoraphobiawhat.blogspot.com