Time to end my writing career

Being totally disabled and yet ineligible for (denied) disability, apparently because my skin is white, my only chance to avoid becoming penniless is to write and sell books. 

I do write and I write well, but I’ve never had enough good luck to sell books. My latest, “Get Real, Dr. Phil,” has sold 4 copies in 3 months. It was my last best chance and it has failed spectacularly. 

It’s time to end the writing career and end the dream of being a successful writer. I have simply run out of time to wait for success. Unknown writers must wait for it and there is no more time to wait. I’ll take opiates for the pain or whatever.

There’s no point keeping a blog either. I’ll keep the blog active as a reminder of what once was and the potential of what could have been, but this is my last post.

Job Requirement: “typ at least 40 wpm iwth no errors.”

My roommate is looking for work, so I thought I’d do a little research for him.

There’s a company that needs office help, and one of its requirements is that people are able to “typ at least 40 wpm iwth no errors.”

What do you think? Monkey on a typewriter? No word on whether the applicant has to work with animals. 🙂

(Description zoomed in)

 

Full job posting:

Kittens Are Amazing

I’m in the process of trapping and socializing Eva’s kittens. This is the first one that was trapped, and appears to be the runt of the litter. I can’t get very close before the hissing and spitting begins, but here’s what’s amazing:

This kitten has never seen a litter box, and yet instead of going all over the garage like a puppy would, it used the litter box! WOW!!

When I trap its siblings (either 2 or 3 more), I hope they’re as smart as this little one. And no, I’m not falling in love and keeping it. Or at least not keeping it — how can you not fall in love with that face?

What Happens When You Give Hot Milk to a Cold Cat

No, not really.

I just happened to catch her in mid-lip-smacking and it looks like she’s screaming.

This was Eva (pronounced Ava), the stray cat I fed for about 2 months, including making sure she was well-fed when she had her most recent litter of kittens. She is now at the Humane Society, and we’re still trying to trap her babies, who are now about 8 weeks old.

She turned out to be a real sweetie, and nothing at all like who she was named after (Eva Braun, Hitler’s wife).

Another Sign the World is Ending

Look at the sub-headline:

“He allegedly killed her wit box cutter.”

wit???

It’s safe to assume CNN fired all their editors and never reported it.

A Disturbing Sample of Dialogue from Today’s Youth

I’m not making it up — you can read the CNN article yourself: http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/24/justice/massachusetts-chism-profile/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

This is what a Ariana Edwards, teenage classmate of the alleged murderer, had to say about the 14-year-old suspect. I’ve bolded the words that will guarantee she works in the fast-food industry her entire life:

A member of Chism’s English class, Ariana Edwards, said Chism had friends, but chose them carefully. “He wasn’t, like, too friendly though,” she said. “He, like, only had certain friends. He wasn’t, like, outgoing to everyone … in classes he would only talk to, like, a select few people. And he was new too, so, like, he didn’t have, like, the, like, amount of friends as everyone else.”

Like, really? Like, are you serious? Wow, that’s like, intense.

Ariana Edwards, twenty years to the day after graduating from high school: “Do you, like, want fries with that?”

Sad.

Ash

An 8-week-old kitten (I’m guesstimating her age based on size and coat) was up a tree yesterday, so I’m fostering her until I can find her the right home.

We think she wandered away from mama and is considered a stray. No signs have been posted about a lost kitten. She’s very sweet, extremely cute, and because she never stops moving, this is the best picture I can get. 🙂

I named her Ash for two reasons:
1. Her coat has that ashy look.
2. Another kitten in the world is a pain in the Ash, but we’ll deal with it.

Why the US healthcare system is superior to Canada’s (dripping with sarcasm)

The Canadian healthcare system is so inferior to that of the United States that our neighbors to the north have to wait 2 weeks to see a doctor for a routine visit. 

In the US, we only have to wait 13 days.

That’s right, Canadians, we are soooo superior to you!

You know you’re working for the wrong company when… (true story)

I used to work for Safeco Insurance Company in Seattle. I actually worked in the warehouse in Redmond.

Safeco was very good about using and recycling, but I noticed a trend among staff: We would use a new box for something and when done with the box we’d recycle it. 

It’s always good practice to recycle, but what about reusing?

So I decided to approach the department’s manager about expanding the recycle policy: Instead of use and recycle, we should use, reuse, recycle.

I scheduled a meeting with him, and when the time came I walked into his office and sat down. This is a recreation of our conversation:

Me: I have an idea.

Department Manager (shaking his head): We don’t need new ideas. This company is doing fine with the ideas we already have.

Me: Okay, thanks for your time.

Shortest meeting I’ve ever had. I resigned not long afterward. While Safeco is still doing “fine” as a company, I wonder how much better it would be if it tried listening to its employees?

Can You See President Obama as a Hostage Negotiator? (humor)

Here we go again with the debt ceiling debate — Obama has drawn a line in the sand, so we know what that means: It’s just a matter of time before he caves and surrenders his position.

If Congress were terrorists who had hostages and Obama was a hostage negotiator, I think negotiations would go something like this:

Terrorists: We’ve got hostages! Give us a million dollars, or we’re gonna kill the hostages!

Obama: I’m here to negotiate with you. Here’s my proposal: I’m going to give you two million dollars and you have to release the hostages.

Terrorists: Two million? As long as you’re throwing money around, how about you make it four million?

Obama: In the interest of negotiation, let’s make it eight million and you can keep the hostages.

Terrorists: We keep the money *and* the hostages? All right, but we’re not going to pay any taxes on that money.

Obama: If you promise to consider not taking any more hostages, I’ll meet those terms.

Terrorists: You have our word we may never take hostages again.

What a joke our system of government has become. If we threw everyone out and started over from scratch, how bad could it be?