(Serious discussion)
Despite having the disorder for 11 years, what I am discovering about agoraphobia is that people who have it want others to understand and sympathize with their condition.
I understand it, but I don’t sympathize. I empathize.
I know exactly what kind of fear an agoraphobic has about going outside or being around people. It goes well beyond fear — the sheer, unexplained terror is enough to turn bowels of steel into water.
Sympathy would require pity for that person, and pity will prevent others from forcing the agoraphobic into the settings that will cure him or her.
Empathy would remove the feelings of guilt when the agoraphobic cried, wailed and screamed to get back inside, where it’s a safe place. Empathy would force a cure down his or her throat.
If the mind creates agoraphobia (and it does), only willpower and empathetic people can force the agoraphobic into settings that will desensitize the mind and show the agoraphobic there is nothing to fear from one’s self-imposed limitations. That’s how I started on the path to recovery. The choice to stay inside was removed, and it was the most horrifying protracted experience of my life.
Empathy and a firm, guiding hand is the best cure.
Sympathy prolongs and worsens the disorder, because it enables the agoraphobic to stay in mortal fear.
Even though the agoraphobia community knows this, sympathetic people are the ones running Internet support forums and real life support groups. Just like giving drugs to a drug addict will never compel the addict to cure him or herself, sympathy will never cure an agoraphobic. There is no incentive.
It’s called tough love because it’s difficult.
jaanderson2112 